Tired… Sick of it.

I dunno why I seem to be the only one with problems with my parents.

I know I should try to tolerate them.Be nice and u know etc etc etc. But obviously it’s not coming from my heart. Of course, I’m not wishing that anything bad to happen to them… but I really have been tolerating and my way of it is just avoidance. I keep quiet most of the time. I keep myself in my room most of the time. I only say the neccessary. It has come to a point where I look like a hermit. Which I am. There’s no point talking to them – one sweeps under the carpet, one tries to solve it by telling u what to do and then INSISTING you go do it her way….

But I’m stuck in between 2 people with totally different characters. And it’s really NOT easy. And best is, sometimes it’s my fault. I can’t take sides. I can’t complain. I can’t do basically anything.

Ask me why don’t try talking to them? They don’t listen. I have tried. It’s as if it’s all my fault – I should try to see beyond looking at myself. THAT’S THE PROBLEM. I have already come to a point where I just ok lor, you are correct, you have all the say.. I shall say nothing. AND I still get told it’s my fault. I keep quiet, it’s my fault, I say one JUST ONE SENTENCE I spark a shouting match, I try to confront it, my concerns get swept under the carpet. then what’s next? I go jump off the building, it’s my fault (ya lah, it’s my fault I jumped, they didnt ask me to)

I’m really sick of this. REALLY REALLY REALLY sick of it.

But what to do? Suck in my breath and then just tolerate again lor. Avoid lor.

My dad pissed me off BIG BIG TIME. I came home in the evening – mum’s not home. Dad’s hungry and annoyed. complains like shit. My mum – is stuck in PIE, after a long day’s work, came home to a highly annoyed father. And instead of helping dinner come to happen along, he just chose to complain and play games on the bloody stupid computer (which btw, has gone wonkers) and apparently my files are too big. (SEE? it’s my fault again)

I’m sick of serving a stupid bloody egoistic man who does NOTHING but complain. Want respect? Pls gain and earn it. It’s not going to happen if u shout. Seriously.best thing is, I can’t say this, not only a shouting match will happen may be it will spark a heart attack. what to do? TOLERATE LOR.

Dad complains about how mum is long winded. Does he know that he’s not any better? He has to say like 10 sentences before coming to the main point (which I have to try to bring him to that point if not would be 20 sentences)

Mum – upon hearing my complains about Dad gets pissed. FINE i’m not complaining ANYMORE.

Don’t blame me if i don’t talk anymore. Sometimes, I’d rather be at work then be at home. It’s just a building that houses my cats and me. FULL STOP.

I’m angry and that’s really an understatement.

Say I’m childish. say that I should sit in their shoes. I HAVE BEEN. but why NO ONE sits in MY SHOES?

It’s not a bout me anymore lah. I don’t care lah. I give up. I will just live here till I earn enough (and get wrinkled and raisined) and then move out. I have tolerated this for 20 years. I can’t take it anymore.

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2 Comments

Filed under aargh

2 responses to “Tired… Sick of it.

  1. Siu

    maybe that’s why when people reach a certain age, they move out of their parents’ place…

    I feel trapped too.. but what to do….. need to be financially independent enuff to move out…

  2. Shoe

    haha. let’s move out and live together lor. 🙂

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