Lalala! Had a wonderful 3 days off work! Ok I know u guys have weekends off but I seldom have my 2 days off ok?

Went for a 5k run which wasn’t fantastic – was very sleepy but it was worth it- all for charity! I hope at least majority of the money went to a good cause… it was good timing esp considering I actually STOPPED to walk! *gaffaws* Errr.. yah. i did. Made a super big mistake of not getting any sugar in me..3/4s of the way i was giddy but persisted anyway… this ang moh lady who was probably the same age as my mum – patted me on my back when I stopped and encouraged me to go on! I was quite encouraged! But she stopped to walk then it was my turn to cheer her on….only 5k hor, we sound pathetic.

But my timing was better than the prev run! I think cos there was significantly less people and running was much easier and I had more space…Now my thighs are aching like mad! hehehe. forgot to stretch after tat….. was more concerned about I NEED MY 100 PLUS!!! HEHE. anyway i did it. and will continue to do it. Maybe should consider running outside instead of the threadmill – but it’s ALWAYS SO HOT! ok.. pls encourage me to get out there more often!

You know I seldom blog about what’s happening in Singapore besides how people do not signal, cannot read signs, cannot read where arrows point and are just inconsiderate.. but this time I am going to open my mouth.

For those in Australia and read my blog, if u haven’t heard – Miss Ris Low – 19 years old was chosen to represent Singapore in Miss World. WHat’s wrong with it you ask? LEt me present to you a video clip.

ok this one is subtitled… you basically just search for Miss Ris Low you get a lot lah.

Now, tell me what’s wrong…

So LOADS of people, LOADS of reports on how BAD her English and pronouciation etc etc etc etc. You know lah, us Singaporeans like to talk and gossip mah.

So I thought to myself- well we all speak like that except maybe a few of us at least can pronounce our words better and maybe more eloquent… so i thought, ok most probably she won’t even get into the top 20 so nvm lah! IF she does,it would be a super big embarassment. I’m not saying that I’m good or pretty or TALL for that matter – who am I to criticise? Even if I were to be tall and pretty and eloquent – someone is bound to say something.. I can’t please everybody.

THen someone goes telling the newspaper that she has a criminal record – credit card fraud. Apparently, she worked in a clinic as an assistant/receptionist or something and she stole client’s/patient’s credit cards spent on a lot of things and got 60 charges – NOT 10 but 6-0! my goodness…so she got 24 mths of supervised probation whatever that means.

So as if that isn’t bad enough…she went on to tell the whole entire Singapore about why she didn’t read the terms and conditions before she even signed up – apparently the other pageants that she signed up for – no one checked, she didn’t read and anyway she didn’t win any so ok lah. But I won’t expect the organisers to check every single one of the applicants – but I would get the applicants to declare that they have no criminal record.AND apparently she has bipolar disorder that’s why her sentence was so lah.

OF course, I”m not advocating that we should be unforgiving to criminals – maybe she was young, tempted by pretty things, materialism etc etc etc… took the wrong turn and did it lah…. but the fact is, she was DISHONEST about it.OF course, if I wanna take part in a pageant, I won’t tell. True. SO maybe the organisers should actually make everyone declare – if not find a way to ensure that everyone is clean.

So I thought, oh dear. Why did she do it then? Yes, she may have deserved a second chance – but she’s not THAT PRETTY. Her Engrish is damn powderful ALREADY. So I thought aiyah, just give up your crown – let someone who maybe has a better chance than you…admit you are wrong and just move on.

WHich she did.

Ok so that ends it all – the organisers will find someone replace her. According to the rules, the 2nd in place should take the crown but this girl Miss Claire Lee apparently fell and hurt her back -which aggravated her back injury which she has already (from studying ?! then I should have broken my back in that case) so she wasn’t sure if she could do it- considering she can’t be standing on heels all the time.

Now, today’s newspaper  – HAIYAH JUST READ THIS LINK LAH.

MISS RIS LOW- as if you don’t look bad enough (you said it yourself) but u r going to so regret it 10 years down the row (don’t need 10 years lah.. maybe 1 month) your english is bad (not your fault maybe), you stole credit cards (not your fault wor you got bipolar what), TOOK PEOPLE’S HARD -EARNED MONEY, show little remorse, say you deserve a second chance and happy that you got it, BLAME IT ON MENTAL DISEASE (ok lah….give u benefit of doubt). AND NOW, you wanna blame SOMEONE FOR TELLING the papers of your criminal record?????????????!!!

SHAME ON YOU.

Seriously, is your bipolar under control?

Even if no one told the newspaper about your criminal record – DO YOU THINK U CAN EVEN LEAVE THE COUNTRY? SOMEONE will find out – if it’s not her, it’s someone else! Paper cannot coverfire (zi shi bao bu zhu huo) really.. WHAT’S GOING ON IN HER MIND!

Just shut up lah! As my colleague puts it, she’s just not mature enough.

I am SO GLAD you are not representing singapore.

ANd congrats to you, you got ALL the attn now, created a new word called boomz! wow.

But are you sure you want to children to know that their mother has bipolar, is crazy, petty and immature?

SOmetimes it’s better to just shut up. I didn’t want write about this but really, she amazes me. wow.

If it were so easy to blame everything on a mental disorder, then I must have bipolar disease, and be maniac depressive and a schizo at the same time! ALl the mistakes I have made I just blame it on that lor.If you have bipolar then go take medicine and be responsible for your condition – don’t go round shooting your mouth off – true maybe bipolar caused you to steal things but if u r under medication and reviews with your shrink, there is no cause for accusing people of things.

Aiyah. I’m going to shut up now.

It’s 1.06am. Can’t sleep.

The stress at work is getting to me. Had 2 days off. but not AT ALL relaxing. Mum has aggravated it. Can’t blame her. Forgetfulness comes with age and I can vouch for that.

Cat’s taken HALF of the bed.

Thought I try playing computer games to make myself sleepy… which it does then when I lie down to sleep- I JUST CAN”T SLEEP.

Been toying with the idea of going part time or even just quitting but the latter choice is almost next to impossible because I need plan B which hasn’t even appeared yet. i.e. I don’t even know what plan B is.

Part time would mean less pay but heck – if I were in this for the money  I would have said sayonara long long long time ago… the rewards ain’t enough man. Input >>>>> output. Input = work/effort. Part time would mean more time – for what? then? I’m the best hermit crab around – besides coming out to gymming. But part time would mean being a bit more happy? I dunno truthfully.

The run at the gym today was refreshing so much so when I came home, I wanted to go back.Ha. Running does relieve stress – a bit lah.

Why can’t I just not talk to people? Most tiring part of the job………………………………………………………………………….

5 km run in a week! Hahaha and I just stufffed myself silly last week at KL. ran 3km today (not continuously slowed down for a while) so good luck to me again! hahaha i lack discipline. What to do? Sometimes what happens at work dampens my mood SO badly I just don’t have the mental focus to even run 1 km.

Ok. Going off to attempt to sleep.

So much for trying to make my blog more ‘alive’! ahahaha. Fail big time!

Oh well, what’s new. Work lah. Let me tell you, to some people working 3 days in a row is NOTHING. (just like having an off day during uni times is nothing) BUT in our field, 3 days of 12 INTENSE hours, always on your feet, brain is never at rest, dealing with emergencies and just running on adrenalin is no fun. What’s tiring is the talking to people. I would never stop wishing if I could just not talk to anyone ..that would be nice! if u intensify that 3 times…(3 consecutive days what) come the 4th day… I’m a walking zombie… @_@

Actually I’m deciding what to do for the day! Can’t waste my off day man! Of course I gotta go to the gym… but that’s only 2 hrs…

Will be off to KL this Sunday! Happyness! Love that place cos of the pace! ooh. rhymes.And of course, the food fooooood. So I think I bettter go run first and run it off…

ok. no more procrastinating.. my eyes seem to be glued to the computer…

People who know me know that I’m a pretty highly irritable person – i.e. anything annoys me easily… but there are certain things that get on my nerves more than anything…

Ok. things that annoy when I drive:

1. People who do not signal when they change lane or turn left into some road.

You may say that EVERYONE does that.. yah I know but what irks me about is – don’t signal must ngei ngei squeeze in my lane. Thinking I can read minds lah! I still don’t understand WHY it’s SO difficult to remind yourself to just lift or push down that little bar next to the wheel.. that difficult meh? It’s BASIC  courtesy I feel to let people know where u r going..esp if u r going to cut someone…

2. People who cut lane so closely AND THEN DRIVE SLOWLY.

I’m sure I don’t need to elaborate. Also those who turn into your lane KNOWING YOU ARE COMING BUT STILL have to come out and then drive slowly…wah…. makes my blood boil.

3. Those who drive on the rightest lane and drive like a snail.

Best if u can’t cut out from the left to overtake becos u r basically stuck. I’m not driving at super high speed, 60km/h right normal roads? Try driving behind someone who drives at 40km/h… and best BEST BEST is the person makes it thru the red light and u r stuck… annoying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Obviously these snails don’t look at the mirror to see the WHOLE ENTIRE CATERPILLAR OF CARS following…. amazing.

Usually in this group – belongs to another kind of drivers who drive like a snail and brakes on and off on and off BUT THERE IS NOTHING IN FRONT OF THEM!! And imagine the person behind – his/her brain is wondering should I keep my leg on the accelerator or the brake??

If it’s so scary to drive right. THEN DON’T DRIVE LAH! We have super good transport system, taxis galore (who belong to another class of stupid drivers – majority hor…there are still ok ones)then just make use of them lor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3.  Taxi Drivers

I’m sorry those who have parents that are taxi drivers.. i’m not saying ALL of them are bad, but unfortunately, majority are irritating. I know that it’s pretty hard to make a living BUT not at the expense of other people’s blood pressure. They do pretty amazing things I’m sure those who drive know…..

Ok. that’s enough to irritate my drive… happens everyday! Oh. I can’t stand those people who keep to the right and then need to turn left right and suddenly decides to change lane when I’m right beside them!!! EXCUSE ME. Even if u put your signal on – I CAN”T SEE!!! You are JUST NEXT DOOR! happened 3 times already.. my car is small I don’t deny but doesn’t mean that you squeeze your big fat ass into my lane…

4. JB motorcycles

Sorry my M’sian friends but I absolutely DETEST THEM. they drift in and out of the lane w/o signalling (and looking) and they ride on the edge of the line – so sometimes u r unsure if u can go past them becos they drift….. yesterday I just had one turn right – i was in the left lane that turns right – he was in the right..so by right I should go to the left and he the right? COMPLETELY WRONG. He turned and cut me so closely and decided to ride on my lane..SLOWLY. then his other JB motorcycle was on the right but slow..so how to cut out? FREAKING ANNOYING.

Next. THings that annoy me generally:

1. People who interuppt.

It’s ok to interuppt once but keep interuppting is DAMN IRRITATING. esp if i get cut if i’m trying to say something that’s impt or trying to get my point across… no chance.

2. My mother telling me to do things the minute I walk out of my door when I just woke up.

Very annoying. My brain is in negative gear, how can I process anything? And then it’s just stress the minute I wake up and I have told her A LOT OF TIMES. I just woken up, why can’t u just greet me and that’s it? *rolls eyes* well I pretty much ignore when she does that …she’s bossy so most of the time she tells to do this and that.. the very minute I wake up… obviously it doesn’t get done.

3. People who think I’m God.

There are certain times when we cannot save – but there are certain people who thinks anybody with the word D.R in front of their surname is GOd. We can perform miracles!! wah! how amazing! YAH RIGHT. hello wake up your stupid idea.I can try my best but there are certain times when we cannot save at all.  In humans, HIV can’t be cured…same what. Best is – people who are the worst least compliant person (like  don’t take medication but expect miracles kind) are the ones that belong to this class. Wah buay tahan.

4. Selfish inconsiderate bastards.

These are the ugly ugly ugly ugly people who think the whole world  just belongs to them…. what to do? All the selfish acts inconsiderate people – sit on the outer chair in buses… park – take 2 lots becos their driving skills sucks like mad.  what else?

4. People who let their kids run amok screaming everywhere bumping into people AND NOT SCOLD THEM OR CORRECT THEM.

I’m sure you get what I mean. And to think these are the future pillars of the country. Had one kid stand on a little platform that’s covering pipes in my consult and it fell of course cos it couldn’t take the weight. the father didn’t even say a thing! amazing. not even apologise for breaking it.

That’s all I think.. the rest are minor things – I can deal with.

May edit this if I think of anymore.

Am having another of those ‘ why can’t I just be a tai tai’ moments again….. why is it so difficult? It has been a super black week… u think we see life and death everyday – we should be numb…but it’s sad when u become numb because when u reach that stage? life probably has knocked u around so much everything is just done becos of the sake of being done….. no more emotions no more passion no more anything.That’s sad ain’t it?

When we hear upon death of some thing or someone, we don’t feel numb. at least I don’t. I often wonder whether I could have done any better but the thing is who knows what will happen down the road?

I’m rambling here – it doesn’t matter if you don’t understand..because a whirl of emotions is going thru my head right now.

I wish it was easier. Sometimes we are here to help but sometimes I still feel like my arms are tied and no matter how much I want to help, I’m not doing anything to make it easier.

oh well.

ok. few more hrs of being a tai tai..and then off to work i go again. :S

Decided that if I were to update..it prob be my gym workouts as well.. then I have someone (or rather the internet) to account to!

Ok I decided to start small/slow, to build up momentum and slowly run 30min continuously. Right now, it’s more like run for a while then walk then feel like it then start running again..so now I’m following a training plan I read from some book.

So yesterday, trooped up the gym, spilt water all over myself…damn.. but anyway that’s besides the point.

Ran 2min walk 1 min – repeat cycle 10 times. Completed 4.54km inclusive of warm up and cool down, burned 200 plus calories. Did 12 x 3 sets of lateral pulldowns (supposed to work biceps but my triceps hurt…must be doing it wrongly) Abdo 15x 3 sets.

GOOD overall!

Next – 3 min run and walk 1 min x 7 sets then walk/run 2 min. Tomorrow!

Ok, I know I am supposed to make this more alive.

I have updated my pages! Look up there above the sleeping cat!

Besides that, nothing much. Shoppping working sleeping playing with cats, cleaning room which is messy again…… and of course being angry, and then like that lah!

You know what. I just wanna know WHO’S reading my blog.

Even if u r Xiu, or Mia. you still have to leave your name. if u don’t want to just say u r anonymous… ok?

Don’t ask me why I wanna know. I just think no one’s reading my blog…that’s why it’s really uninteresting…(in my opinion lah)

Thanks to u if u read it regularly – despite coming here to see I haven’t updated in eons…

THanks for leaving your comment to tell me u r reading it!

I dunno why I seem to be the only one with problems with my parents.

I know I should try to tolerate them.Be nice and u know etc etc etc. But obviously it’s not coming from my heart. Of course, I’m not wishing that anything bad to happen to them… but I really have been tolerating and my way of it is just avoidance. I keep quiet most of the time. I keep myself in my room most of the time. I only say the neccessary. It has come to a point where I look like a hermit. Which I am. There’s no point talking to them – one sweeps under the carpet, one tries to solve it by telling u what to do and then INSISTING you go do it her way….

But I’m stuck in between 2 people with totally different characters. And it’s really NOT easy. And best is, sometimes it’s my fault. I can’t take sides. I can’t complain. I can’t do basically anything.

Ask me why don’t try talking to them? They don’t listen. I have tried. It’s as if it’s all my fault – I should try to see beyond looking at myself. THAT’S THE PROBLEM. I have already come to a point where I just ok lor, you are correct, you have all the say.. I shall say nothing. AND I still get told it’s my fault. I keep quiet, it’s my fault, I say one JUST ONE SENTENCE I spark a shouting match, I try to confront it, my concerns get swept under the carpet. then what’s next? I go jump off the building, it’s my fault (ya lah, it’s my fault I jumped, they didnt ask me to)

I’m really sick of this. REALLY REALLY REALLY sick of it.

But what to do? Suck in my breath and then just tolerate again lor. Avoid lor.

My dad pissed me off BIG BIG TIME. I came home in the evening – mum’s not home. Dad’s hungry and annoyed. complains like shit. My mum – is stuck in PIE, after a long day’s work, came home to a highly annoyed father. And instead of helping dinner come to happen along, he just chose to complain and play games on the bloody stupid computer (which btw, has gone wonkers) and apparently my files are too big. (SEE? it’s my fault again)

I’m sick of serving a stupid bloody egoistic man who does NOTHING but complain. Want respect? Pls gain and earn it. It’s not going to happen if u shout. Seriously.best thing is, I can’t say this, not only a shouting match will happen may be it will spark a heart attack. what to do? TOLERATE LOR.

Dad complains about how mum is long winded. Does he know that he’s not any better? He has to say like 10 sentences before coming to the main point (which I have to try to bring him to that point if not would be 20 sentences)

Mum – upon hearing my complains about Dad gets pissed. FINE i’m not complaining ANYMORE.

Don’t blame me if i don’t talk anymore. Sometimes, I’d rather be at work then be at home. It’s just a building that houses my cats and me. FULL STOP.

I’m angry and that’s really an understatement.

Say I’m childish. say that I should sit in their shoes. I HAVE BEEN. but why NO ONE sits in MY SHOES?

It’s not a bout me anymore lah. I don’t care lah. I give up. I will just live here till I earn enough (and get wrinkled and raisined) and then move out. I have tolerated this for 20 years. I can’t take it anymore.

I’m making my blog more ‘alive’…hopefully.

Like the sleeping cat above? I took it at some hdb carpark just outside sheng siong… it was just sleeping in the middle of nowhere!

Still got stuff to add.. playing around.. but hopefully I get this running soon!